RawNess
I'm at a point in my life...a crossroads really...
Do I want to continue on, ignoring certain patterns and behaviours as if they don't exist or aren't "that bad". Or do I want to continue on this journey of Recovery, and continue to crack and rip myself wide open, exploring the many layers that have made up my life and the story I tell myself...
Seems I'm choosing the latter. Digging deep on a daily basis. Feeling all the feels that I've been shunning or numbing. Reaching and striving for things that bring me joy and ignite and feed the fire deep within me. My inner light has been growing brighter. I feel her, I see her and my goodness, I love her.
In recent months I have reconnected with pen and paper. Writing out my thoughts, my feelings, my shadow and my light. Being able to express myself in this way has been incredibly cleansing and freeing.
Sharing my writing has become a new adventure for me as well. I've been quite apprehensive in the past to share what I've hammered out in my many journals. Afraid of being judged, negatively viewed. Afraid of being vulnerable. However, I have been learning over the last year and a bit, that within my vulnerability lies courage, connection and my authentic self. I'm finally at a point in my life where I feel admiration, love and kindness towards my authentic self. I no longer feel the need to hide her away or stifle her voice. Ninety percent of the time I don't feel the need to apologize for being her. For being "too much". However, I believe this self-love and acceptance is a lifetime journey that I shall never perfect, but continue to work on to the best of my ability.
As of today (who knows about tomorrow or a week from now or a months time away...let alone a "five year plan") I have urges to share my writings. And in my lack of knowledge of how to get my stuff "out there", I figure a blog seems like a simple way to start? I've shared pieces on my personal FaceBook page, however I wish to expand...just a little...bits at a time.
Thank you for taking time out of your day to direct your attention towards my words. I hope someone, somewhere, somehow, can connect or relate and feel a bit of that warmth that one can get from words that fit nicely within ones soul.
Light and Love,
VMackEw
Do I want to continue on, ignoring certain patterns and behaviours as if they don't exist or aren't "that bad". Or do I want to continue on this journey of Recovery, and continue to crack and rip myself wide open, exploring the many layers that have made up my life and the story I tell myself...
Seems I'm choosing the latter. Digging deep on a daily basis. Feeling all the feels that I've been shunning or numbing. Reaching and striving for things that bring me joy and ignite and feed the fire deep within me. My inner light has been growing brighter. I feel her, I see her and my goodness, I love her.
In recent months I have reconnected with pen and paper. Writing out my thoughts, my feelings, my shadow and my light. Being able to express myself in this way has been incredibly cleansing and freeing.
Sharing my writing has become a new adventure for me as well. I've been quite apprehensive in the past to share what I've hammered out in my many journals. Afraid of being judged, negatively viewed. Afraid of being vulnerable. However, I have been learning over the last year and a bit, that within my vulnerability lies courage, connection and my authentic self. I'm finally at a point in my life where I feel admiration, love and kindness towards my authentic self. I no longer feel the need to hide her away or stifle her voice. Ninety percent of the time I don't feel the need to apologize for being her. For being "too much". However, I believe this self-love and acceptance is a lifetime journey that I shall never perfect, but continue to work on to the best of my ability.
As of today (who knows about tomorrow or a week from now or a months time away...let alone a "five year plan") I have urges to share my writings. And in my lack of knowledge of how to get my stuff "out there", I figure a blog seems like a simple way to start? I've shared pieces on my personal FaceBook page, however I wish to expand...just a little...bits at a time.
Thank you for taking time out of your day to direct your attention towards my words. I hope someone, somewhere, somehow, can connect or relate and feel a bit of that warmth that one can get from words that fit nicely within ones soul.
Light and Love,
VMackEw
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